"Me first"

I seem to remember one General studies past paper or something of the sort that mentioned the disaster or development of a "me first society" that's apparently cropped up in the last few decades.

I think I want to dispute this. 

Essentially what they insinuated by the phrase was that the developed world was becoming (as I think it's always been) more independent and individualistic than other more collectivist societies. And that this was in some way going to become a handicap for our generation.... The truth is I don't know about all that. 

A few conversations I have had over the past few months have had me thinking about the importance of having a standout/separate "me" or  "I", furthermore knowing the value of that and what that 'self' deserves...Also at times known as self love.

So I'm splitting this post into 3...to talk about the "me first" and maybe why we shouldn't be so quick to attack selfishness which seeks to protect, develop and understand the self.

A separate "me"    |     A me that loves me   |     A me that lives for me

A separate "me"

It seems almost too easy to become like someone... From make-up to clothes to generally creating an online persona. Who you are can very easily be swayed. It happens to the best of us. Going to university showed me how much I needed to have my separate "me". That part of yourself only you know... Not necessarily a dark alter ego, but your weird and quirky self that's sensitive or giggly or vulnerable or a prick. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you might need to spend some more time alone. I'm almost certain we all have that part of ourselves and its that part that can get hidden and lost very easily. This isn't to mean it's irrelevant. Nope. This part is essential to build from ... This raw part's reactions to things show us who we really are... Sometimes it needs editing, patterning, and to do some unlearning but you won't know what needs to be done until you really know what is there. 

A me that loves me

The term self-love is everywhere these days... But its prevalence by no means represents the ease of acquiring it. The problem with self-love is the many forms self-hate/ dislike can exist. Just because you are a generally or outwardly confident and self assured person, it does not mean you have accepted all parts of yourself (be it physically, mentally, spiritually or otherwise). Self love is hard because of how easy it is to hate, how accessible comparison is and how much courage it takes to step out and say you actively love and admire the parts of you that no-one else cares for, or everyone else seems to hate about themselves too. Now we're not saying your tendencies to manipulate people should be accepted wholeheartedly... just that you shouldn't demonise yourself for it and should learn to love and accept that that part of you needs attention.

Self-love is radical, as it requires us to assign the same time and attention we give to our significant others to ourselves. When was the last time you made yourself feel special? It is often said that humans are social beings and I would definitely agree, the majority of us need people to some capacity and know how to appreciate those we have around us. However, less of us know how to appreciate ourselves. So when we feel our mental health deteriorating or start feeling more tired than usual, instead of taking the time to be selfish and figure it out, we continue to sacrifice ourselves within our busy schedules, timetables and promises to others. God forbid if we let our family down... meanwhile, we are (sometimes knowingly) letting ourselves down...which leads me into....

A me that lives for me

We came into this world alone. We will to some extent probably die alone. So why do we make so many sacrifices and take up so much time living for others?
Simply because, whilst we do those first two things alone, we don't raise ourselves or grow alone. As we walk through life we accumulate a debt in the form of social contracts often unwritten and at times lacking in quid pro quo. Those who speak of the dangers of a 'me first society' fear the reduction of the pro bono stuff humans do. This is a valid fear children... this is how a welfare state functions. I am a socialist, I believe we must and should all support and help each other - life's too hard to do it alone and privilege is very real. But at the same time, life is too hard to carry everyone else beyond reasonable means and reduce your sanity, peace of mind, imbalance your chakra's because someone who is abusive and rude wiped your bum for your first 2 years. I get it family is family... but you're also not invincible. If someone is sabotaging your peace, you need to figure out a way that you can be there for them without losing yourself.. otherwise you won't last and might just die alone quicker. sorry, it's true.


Essentially all I'm saying is that as I'm growing I'm realising that people expect a lot from each other and whilst that's fair enough, it only really works if we know what we're expecting from ourselves and that comes with knowing thy self...

This is, to some extent, the reason behind my friend and I's new project/campaign/life chant.

It's called Knowthysauce and encapsulates a lot of what I've said but also, generally aims to encourage us and others around us, to utilise our gifts and talents no matter how irrelevant they seem and just find your niche... your sauce. More on this later but I hope you enjoyed this delve into kosa's mind and pree @knowthysauce on instagram and twitter.

[yess I used the same pictures in my livin' lovely post but they all work so well]


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